Click here for Part one
So after THE phone call that ruined my Disney vacation, I was in a tizzy googling everything about thymoma, thymectomy, thymic hyperplasia, and so forth. All before I even had my MRI scan. I was so nervous.
I only had to wait a short time for my MRI. But it felt like an eternity! Here’s from my journal of craziness…
I wrote the following before and during my MRI experience last year…
Want the low down on my day? What I walked through…what my mind kept doing?
“Suspected thymoma”. The words were clear as day! What that???
Google. I ran to Google. My dear friend Google. We have a love/hate relationship… But the ER doc said I was all clear and sent me home that day? He’s mistaken. Those were somebody else’s CT scan results he saw before he called me. I know it.
MyChart! I’ll check the results myself! I’ll prove him wrong…
Nope. He was right. “Suspected thymoma”
MRI day finally arrives:
Driving to the hospital…
Dear God. Please don’t let this be cancer.
Please don’t let this require major surgery.
Not sure if I wanted to hyperventilate or cry?
My eyeliner jumped ship when I was getting ready earlier that morning. Seriously! It broke off and I had no liner for my small, tired, stressed out eyeballs. I felt hideous.
I wore my Supergirl shirt! Super!!! Wait no…not super…because it’s just Super tight in the armpits… I don’t wanna sweat…not the feeling I was going for…so I brought a tank top to wear afterwards since its 1,o01 degrees outside! I needed to at least wear it there because I needed its Super powers for good luck.
Awesome. Per my usual crappy self…I left the house late.
Parking garage not letting people in. Awesome!!! Seriously? Im already running late and hyperventilating! Now I gotta find a parking lot I’ve never heard of, or settle for a spot on the street or in the other garage that’s further away!
After driving around in circles in a 5 block radius, I finally conclude there’s no freaking lot C! They’re liars!
Rushing from the parking garage…I get on the WRONG elevator. “Radiation” is not “radiology”…Duh!
Then I finally find the correct elevator, but I got off on the WRONG floor.
Wait…it dues T end there!!! I took a number, sat Shen abdcwaited to be called at checkin…only I soon found out I went to the WRONG checkin…
Finally made my way to the MRI area and had to put on one of those sexy breezy hospital gowns.
I tried to calm my nerves. Ha! Funny. That was impossible.
I get settled on the MRI table and I needed an IV fur the contrast. My veins were angry and hiding. After multiple unsuccessful pikes, they finally decided to put the IV in my wrist😳 OUCH!
I’m slowly buried in that loud tube of despair…I’m told not to move! Like I could anyway, with my arms strapped down to the table!? Hello panic attack!
Don’t start crying, you dummy! Great now my tear is itching my cheek but my arms are strapped down and I’m not supposed to move!
“Take a breath in…now breathe out. Take a breath in…and HOLD IT…”
Hello??? I wanna breath! My ears feel like they are flooding and I’m gonna pass out from lack of oxygen! Let me breathe!!!
“Now breath normally…”
Phew!! My fingers are tingling. I need oxygen.
Yawn. All I wanna do is yawn!
“Now breathe in…breathe out…breathe in and HOLD IT!…”
For the love of all things holy! I’m still trying to catch my breath from the last lung exercise!!!
All the loud buzzing and knocking noises surrounding me are unsettling despite the Taylor Swift music I hear streaming from the headphones they gave me…
Why don’t they put the scene of a beach or something in the tube??? Take me away someplace other than a tube!!!
Thank God I don’t have gas… (Yes. I seriously thought that while stuck inside that tube! Lol)
No wait… They put me back inside for more images! Did they see something on the first set of images? Oh my gosh. They must’ve seen something bad…
Ok all done! For real this time.
Ok get off the table and I’ll be on my way…omg…my boob found its way out of this ugly, breezy hospital garment somehow?! Did he see it??? Well, he’s already got images of the INSIDE of both of boobs…so there’s no secrets between me and Martin, the MRI technician!😳
Walking back through the hospital to get to the car…getting weird looks b/c of my heavily bandaged wrists…its bright freaking YELLOW tape holding gauze to my wrist after all!
No, I’m not from the psych ward. I had an IV there, thankyouverymuch…
Ok. My “gold cuff” makes me Wonder Woman! Yesssss! I am Wonder Woman!
Jammin in the car… Almost get three blocks down the road and wham! I’m worrying again.
Worry. Worry. Worry. Worry.
Wait. Was that even the right kind of MRI that I just had??? More obsessive worry sets in.
Palpitations… I’m getting palpitations again.
Check MyChart to reread my CT scan…
It says “in and opposed phase” … But I just had “with and w/o contrast”. Is that the same thing!?!
No really!!! Someone tell me!!!!
Dr Messmer-Google failed to provide an answer.
Well meaning friends tell me to stop reading, stop thinking about it…
Ok. Sure. No Problem! I’m so good at that!😳
Lord help me…
Where’s my results!??
MyChart isn’t telling me my results! It’s been a couple hours. I’m sure there are no other images for radiologists to look at today but MINE! Duh!
But I’m not getting it.
It’s still Thursday.
Filled out my leave slip for work all wrong because my brain is so jumbled.
I want my results.
I would really appreciate seeing my results.
I want my results…please…
I’m fine. Really.
No I’m not.
I want results.
Adrenaline pumping like I should be running away from something? Check
Checking MyChart and email every two seconds for results? Check! Wait check again! And again! I can’t stop 😢
Write email to Dr. PCP to make sure SHE is looking for the results!? Check.
Yes, I’m THAT patient.
Headache? CHECK! (**shhhhhhh* my head hurts, don’t yell!)
Concentrating well at work? Well, who’s asking??? My boss? Then YES! Of course! My friend? Hell no, who can possibly concentrate with this headache and my obsessive email and MyChart checking…
Somebody distract me.